Who Does She Think She Is?

Who Does She Think She Is?

A longtime friend recently said, “You are so brave.” Wow! Like a pinball bouncing around my brain, I have been ruminating on those four simple words for over a week now. Ha!! If they only knew the truth I say to myself. Generally speaking I think everybody has an inner monologue, but, ladies keep me honest here, the voice inside the female brain is different. On the surface we women are soft. Dare I say women are gentile, almost sentient. A stark difference between the woman that lives in our head. That woman is nasty, a real trifling bitch.

Major life changes are wild. There is nothing quite like upsetting the status quo. Six months ago I quit my “REAL” job. I took my side hustle soap business full time and opened a small boutique. The outpouring of support has been inspiring. I have been showered with words of encouragement. In addition to all the high fives and “atta girl”, I think it's important to list some of the other things said.
  • You have a job with decent pay and benefits. It’s irresponsible to give that up.
  • You have a home and a family to care for. Making soap for a living is not realistic.
  • Are you crazy or is this a mid-life crisis?
  • You can’t start a business during a recession.
  • Running a business is really hard and you have no experience.
  • You suck at math. How will you keep the books straight?
  • Statistically it will probably fail. What is your back up plan?
  • You aren't special. What makes you think you could be successful?

What? Who on earth would speak to you like that? I can already see a couple girls in my squad preparing to knuckle up. Side note…my squad is pretty freaking amazing. They won't stand for this negativity. Well simmer down friends (insert plot twist).

We all know the world is full of mean girls. We avoid them whenever possible. Outwardly, we have no tolerance for toxicity right? Unfortunately, a mean girl can be sneaky. She hides inside our inner monologues. She hides herself in the pit of our gut. And if I had to guess…there is a mean girl hiding in most of us. Women, especially, are so quick to lift each other up while talking utter smack to their own self. The good news is, that like any bully, that inner mean girl is a coward. She is scared and weak. Otherwise, why hide?

Under normal circumstances we would never entertain the mean girls in real life. So why do we listen to the fake mean girl in our heads? She is a liar. That being said, it has been my experience in watching the women that I admire, that growth and comfort are not mutually exclusive. I have seen real courage despite an individual’s overwhelming self doubt. I will even go as far as to say that every boss babe I know has experienced imposter syndrome at some point. I would even bet money that the woman you think she is, is far different than the woman she thinks she is. Odds are she has learned to put a muzzle on her inner mean girl. And in doing so, the who she thinks she is will be forever evolving.

Give yourself some grace.There will be moments when the inner mean girl becomes very loud, but you are louder. Take up all the space. Mean girls can’t sit at your table. Look in the mirror and take stock in who you really are. Be everything you think you are. To keep yourself grounded in reality here is a bit of perspective that I want you all to remember. Repeat after me…”I am a woman that a younger me had always admired but never really imagined they’d be and that is my greatest accomplishment.”

Brave?? Me?? THANK YOU for reminding me!! You bet your ass I am!!

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